The word trust is such a big word. A confusing one at that as well. Some people actually think that trusting someone is a license to not be cautious, the answer to erase worries and doubts. I thought so too. But that was yesterday. Today, I am defining trust in a whole new way.
Whenever you give your trust to someone you love, particularly in a relationship, it doesn't necessarily mean that you will never have doubts. It doesn't mean that you will never be caught in your gut-feel. The underlying feeling when trusting someone is actually reading between the line that, "Hey, don't you dare break my heart". Sometimes it can even translate to, "Now, be more careful of how you deal with other people or else the trust is gone".
The declaration of trust is actually the start of bigger responsibilities. It actually challenges the trustee and the trusted to discipline themselves at all times -- the trustee preventing herself from sudden outburst and the trusted making sure to know the limits of his actions. It is never easy to trust someone because we always get the wrong impression about it. Why? Because we say we trust even if we never really told the person what we are trusting him with. We trust, assuming that the ones we are trusting already knows what will break our trust when we never really have the guts to tell them the rules of our "Trust Contract".
How do I define trust now? Simple. Trust is telling the truth. If you say you trust someone, you have every right to confront the person and tell what you feel about something or someone. Once you start keeping things to yourself, then the trust slowly leaves you and all you're left with are doubts and accusations. Trust is accepting the truth. If you are brave enough to tell your feelings, you have to be strong enough to hear the other side of the story -- no matter how good or bad it may be. Trust is knowing that you can ask whenever you feel something is not right. Trust should not limit our actions. Trusting doesn't mean you cannot ask, cannot react, cannot doubt, cannot be cautious. It just knowing when to stop asking, thinking first before reacting, ask first before entertaining your doubts and being watchful not just of your partner but of yourself as well.
Complicated? Nah. When everything else fails, we go back to the root of it all.
LOVE.
But then again, that one deserves another reflection.
Whenever you give your trust to someone you love, particularly in a relationship, it doesn't necessarily mean that you will never have doubts. It doesn't mean that you will never be caught in your gut-feel. The underlying feeling when trusting someone is actually reading between the line that, "Hey, don't you dare break my heart". Sometimes it can even translate to, "Now, be more careful of how you deal with other people or else the trust is gone".
The declaration of trust is actually the start of bigger responsibilities. It actually challenges the trustee and the trusted to discipline themselves at all times -- the trustee preventing herself from sudden outburst and the trusted making sure to know the limits of his actions. It is never easy to trust someone because we always get the wrong impression about it. Why? Because we say we trust even if we never really told the person what we are trusting him with. We trust, assuming that the ones we are trusting already knows what will break our trust when we never really have the guts to tell them the rules of our "Trust Contract".
How do I define trust now? Simple. Trust is telling the truth. If you say you trust someone, you have every right to confront the person and tell what you feel about something or someone. Once you start keeping things to yourself, then the trust slowly leaves you and all you're left with are doubts and accusations. Trust is accepting the truth. If you are brave enough to tell your feelings, you have to be strong enough to hear the other side of the story -- no matter how good or bad it may be. Trust is knowing that you can ask whenever you feel something is not right. Trust should not limit our actions. Trusting doesn't mean you cannot ask, cannot react, cannot doubt, cannot be cautious. It just knowing when to stop asking, thinking first before reacting, ask first before entertaining your doubts and being watchful not just of your partner but of yourself as well.
Complicated? Nah. When everything else fails, we go back to the root of it all.
LOVE.
But then again, that one deserves another reflection.
No comments:
Post a Comment