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Friends who crossed the line of friendship to discover that we can love more than we thought we can. Brought together by God and have discovered along the way that there is a deeper reason why we are together. Our mission is not to be done individually,but together. This site contains our past and our journey to the future..a sharing of emotions, feelings, thoughts, dreams, fears -- all about our adventures in life.

Friday, August 29, 2008

The rod, the rules, the child

" He who spares the rod hates his son, but he who loves him is careful to discipline him."
Proverbs 13:24

I am starting this entry with a bible verse that stirred so many emotions from our e-group. An article regarding this particular verse was shared by a fellow mom and it has solicited so many different opinions on how one should discipline a child.

So am I saying that my basis on our child's discipline is biblical? Am I one of those parents who say, "Spare the rod, spoil the child?" Does this mean that I am pro-spanking and that my child will grow up in such a way that his reprimands will comprise of a belt? I see some eyebrows being raised. Let me give you my two-cents worth.

I believe in the value of discipline. I grew up knowing how it is to be disciplined and I am in every way thankful that I was raised that way. Yes, I have had my share of the belt. I even experienced kneeling on a bed of rock salt and monggo beans. None was traumatic for me. My sister and I would laugh at those experiences remembering how we would cheat and not kneel as soon as the door of the room was closed. My mom never expected us to kneel all the way. She just wanted us to learn to follow rules.

When our son turned 6-months old we learned that he can already distinguish the difference in our voice pattern. So naturally I have learned to shout "No!" when I need for him to know that he shouldn't do a particular thing. I was able to observe how he would still try to do it again but stops whenever I call out his name in a louder, deeper, I-told-you-not-to-do-that voice. That means he is ready to be disciplined already.

Does this mean I can now spank him any time I want if does not obey what I say? Of course not. But I have had my moments of striking his hand whenever he want to touch the electrical socket or whenever he wants to unplug our appliances. I do that because he no longer listens to the change in my voice pattern and I need to emphasize that it is not safe for him to play with such things. He may not understand everything that I am saying but I will not regret having to hit his hand every now and then to let him feel that he cannot always have what he wants.

Some may say that you can always talk to a child to discipline him. I say you should always talk to a child not just when you want to discipline him but in any case possible. When you don't spare him of the rod, you should explain why you did it and what he needs to do so that he won't have to experience getting hit again.

I am grateful because my husband and I have the same thoughts on discipline. Still, we are yet to find out as Zye grows older. I am hoping though that the Lord will guide our son in such a way that we wouldn't have to use the rod. Am I trying to contradict myself? Not a bit. The possibility of having a well-disciplined son without have to go through the spanking is achievable with a great deal of Divine intervention.

In the argument that the above opening verse is subject to many interpretations, I beg to disagree. We may have our different opinions on this subject but God didn't send that message to be interpreted in different ways. He knew exactly what His message was. It's about time that we ask Him to reveal it to us.


This is my official entry to the 7th edition of

Pinoy Parenting Blog Carnival.

Welcoming back PPBC and Doc Joey too as she hosts this one again.

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