Tension

I am still
Breathing heavily
as I showered my skin with pinches
feeling numbness
The cold air enveloped me

I am still
Thoughts are whirling
my soul seems to have wandered
I await for my luck
Again, I am breathing heavily,
Closed my eyes...

Tic, Tac,
Tic, Tac,
Whew!
I survived.

-Jown
reminiscing my one time BP rise.
created June 22, 2010 -

Breaks and aches

Hurting someone doesn't just happen when you've done something.
It is all the more painful when you are not doing anything.

-.jd.112708-
*************

The heart breaks to its limits.
It is pushed farther
still trusting,
but so very much guarded,
not wanting to give room for more hurt.
Praying hard that it will all go away,
and that you be back
to the way you were before.

-.jd.112708-
*************

I can sacrifice.
I can always give way.
I will always believe.
I will never give up.

That's why my smiles
will always be sad.

-.jd.112708-
*************

So this is love.
No expectations,
Having less but giving more,
Hoping,
praying,
wishing.
Yes, it is how I love.

-.jd.112708-
*************

At the end of the day

When you are in a relationship, what is it that really matters?
Is it just plainly about loving someone?
Does it start and end with giving all that you've got
even to the point that you've got nothing left for yourself?
Is it simply about being happy or at least trying to be an epitome of happiness?

Do you not complain and take every pain
as if it is a pill to which your body can someday be immune with?
Will it ever be just moving forward with the hopes
that the realities of today will simply pass?

Should you fade each time the stars come out
and appear at the break of dawn so that your tears
may never be seen?

After the journey,
all that is there is the thought that the sun will always
come out after the rain.
What remains is the dream of truly being loved.


__________________
*.jd.11.18.08.*
jown's random thoughts
sharing,
thinking out loud,
summarizing.

Expectations

What is life?
It is joy and sadness wrapped together.
It is the laughter and tears happening
at the same time.
It is pain and comfort
running in circles
Trying to find a way to your senses.

It is your greatest dream and your wildest
fear caught up in a web.
It is your success and defeat
glued up to bring the best of who you are.
It is the best and worst days of the year
rewinding in the blink of an eye,
giving you the glimpse of what's ahead.

Life is just what you expect it to be...
and more...
even more.

_______________
.jdd. 10172008
getting ready for what is to come.

In your eyes

Look at me
see what I have become
my memory doesn't even want to serve me
my soul is haunted
while my heart drips off tears

Look at me
I never knew how sad I was until
I found out how much I've loved
I never measured myself
now I need my worth just to go on

Look at me
will you not find out on your own?
would you still need my question?
There's nothing to choose from,
there's nothing I can offer

Look at me
because this is what you will have,
this is what I can give,
just me...
all of me.

********************
-jdd 10.04.08-
for the confused soul.
not for guidance,
just a reflection of your heart.

The other side

The sun has set
the sky has darkened so much
that the twinkling of the stars are fading fast

The seas no longer bring peace
they became reminders of the suffering
which you thought would have been endless

now the story had ended.
no longer will you be able to see warmth
the only remembrance
was the pain.

Papa is just a word now.
Meaningless.
Hopeless.
Lifeless.


-jdd 08.09.08-
********************

For my uncle, Papa Wing. You will always be remembered dearly.
We love you.

Mother

Wipe the tears
there is no room for hurt
Your heart
expands itself to love
beyond

Your arms are warm
a blanket of comfort
A bridge that extends
reaches out to everyone

You believe always
because in you there is hope
Possibility is never far
you made me realize
my own dreams

Today, I pray well
that my heart
will beat like yours
and be the light
that you have been for me.


-Jdd 07.28.08-
*****************
For my mom, as she
celebrates her day
tomorrow.

We love you!

Shoutout

What we have is no longer love...

It's our dreams weaved together,

It's our hopes shared,

It's our minds united,

It's our journey in one path,

It's our time in a single hour glass.

What we have is each other.

You're the only one this heart beats for.

-Jdd.07.03.2008-

***************************

This is for you Dhe, a love thought before your special day.

Inside

This is the thing about love:

that you can never assume
your position in one's life
no matter who you are
or what you stand for

there is no such thing
as being the one, the first or the best
because there are some hurts
that will lead you
to the end of the line
to your own surprise

that the feelings may surpass
and what's left is familiarity
though you can never live
just knowing one well

it may bring scare to
those whose hearts long for more
but it is what love can become
and on such occassions
you would have to rise above it all

...just because you love.

--JDriz 05162008 --

RAINBOW

Between
the rain
and the sun
colors are formed

before the rain drops
shades of blue,
yellow, pink
gather around around before the gray clouds

see beauty inspite of thunderstorms
a masterpiece above imperfections
the best thing has come
at the end of the mystical bridge

you were my pot of gold.

Sigh

Murmuring...
Abandoned wings.
Feathers independent of the mother.
Sliding, it fell.
Drops of emotion on a bed of cotton.
Its frailty not known;
Only the heart knows.

jd.060706